These are the notes from the remote shooter (see November 3rd) for the 3rd parent sponsored party which was casino themed. These are the notes from the party itself:
On the face of it, the party was a party just for fun.
But the party was also about rules and the fulfillment of the social contract. Cassidy had been warned by her mom not to be late. The girls had voted to wear tiaras which Cassidy went along with although she didn't like it. The boys had to dress up too, some with coat and tie, all neat and well groomed. Karen, Cassidy's mother, was concerned when she thought one of the dates might leave early, which he was not supposed to do. The guests were checked in, folks got name tags, dinner was a buffet open throughout the evening. An archetype suburban party: Paper plates and utensils, real wine glasses, trash receptacles placed strategically through the rooms. Moms making sure things happened. Couples mingled freely, sometimes girls would go off by themselves. The guys spent a lot of time at the blackjack table, until finally the girls wanted to know what the attraction there was, and moved in on it too.
There was fireplace on the terrace where a few repaired to until it got too cold outside.
The deb lady, Sandi, came to talk about the deb experience one on one with the girls, and was really laying into the guys how this was a serious commitment to be a marshal for the ball. Lesson: social promises are serious things. The adults had the occasional wine, but there was little imbibing. The evening grew lively as the kids learned the rules of 21, roulette and black jack from the dealers, one another and their parents... An innocent way of getting introduced to a very sophisticated adult diversion. It was indeed a fun game and role to play... sort of like James Bond without the risk.
Tiaras and uncomfy shoes were discarded throughout the night. Everyone got interested in what was going on at the tables, even if it wasn't for real. It was interesting to see that the dealers were very personable with the kids and their parents. Aside from the black jack dealer who was rather stoney, there no "social" deference as there would have been in a swanky party where servants would be treated as servants even twenty years ago.
Late in the evening a still photographer arrived and the ritual picture taking began. Parents and girls, girls and girls, girls and dates, girls in groups, girls on the staircase, etc, etc. Memories, indelible memories.
The breakup of the party came when the mothers called time to have chips turned in and see who won the prizes of gift cards for winning the most. The girls staying the night were swift to go upstairs, shed their gowns and get into loungewear-- back to normal fun.
Cassie and Spencer agreed that it had been a good evening. The guys managed to stay quite interested in events through the evening... football on the widescreen TV, good food on the table, good fun at the gaming table and girls. There was an emphasis on the debs helping to clean up the house afterwards. I came away feeling like the parents wanted to show the girls that good parties are planned, a thoughtful host takes care of guests and somebody has to understand what's supposed to happen when.
General Observation about the evening:
Knowing how to throw a good party is something that is learned. How to choose a menu, presentation to the table, and deciding on utensils. A theme is often used for parties as a unifying concept of celebration. The social graces are also learned. Being polite to a total stranger or reacting to an unknown situation with poise do not come naturally. In their conversations, the girls would talk about one or the other person reacted or acted which did reflect reactions and judgments on their part. Yet, they were going right back into another new situation and were learning that the same things may or may not happen over and over again in these mixers. They were learning to get along with one another even if it didn't always make them happy. Yes, being social is like sports in a way. There are rules to the game and you don't always get along famously with everybody. I was surprised to realize that the girls didn't really know one another when they started into the program. I guess because I think of the town as a small town, not a part of a large metro area.
I don't think the party was extravagant. The spread was sumptuous, but not overdone. People ate their fill and enjoyed themselves and did not leave trash all over the house. The venue was a private home. The gaming theme was a little pricey, but the cost was shared by three families and, other than the caterer, there was no kitchen help. It was just the typical nice party any of these girls would be expected to mount in their own home after marriage. The idea of favors made by themselves for themselves in a meaningful way was a lesson, again, in social grace.
